March 9, 2013

.let's be honest for a bit, shall we.

So, as you can tell...I haven't really posted any outfit pictures for months. And what the heck right, fashion is one of the main things I love talking about on the blog. So here I am to be honest with y'all for a bit and really but myself out here.  This first year in Minnesota has been one of the harder years filled with struggles. But what kept me going through these struggles was running. When running I was relaxed, focused, healthy, proud, and fit. I felt good about myself inside and out. In October, Dave and I ran our first marathon and it was an amazing feeling. However, after the marathon I was burnt out on running and took a few weeks off. The weeks then added up to months, then it become unbearably cold, and then excuse after excuse..blah, blah, blah.

When not running or exercise, I started to eat less healthy also.  Do you know what happens when an active person becomes sedentary and stops watching what they consume? BINGO! They gain weight! So during the winter months I have gained all the weight I lost over the spring, summer, and fall. While my weight went up I watched my self esteem and confidence go dramatically down. I watched it happen but was like a silent passenger...seeing it happen but not doing or saying anything.

Hence, no pictures taken during these months. I knew my body was changing, clothes not fitting, and I didn't want to see it and make it real. Last week while at work I was ringing up a fashionable, pretty, lady purchasing fashion books. When ringing her up I felt ugly, unworthy, ashamed and wanted to hide. After this one minute interaction, I really started to question why I had the feelings I did. I can't keep watching silently while I slowly destroy my self esteem and self confidence.

So now I have made a pledge to work on gaining back my self-confidence and enthusiasm for life.  I want to work on becoming healthier, simplifying our home, and focusing on what I want out of life! You may not see fashion posts for a while yet still, but I will be posting about my personal journey. I realized that when I wasn't blogging, I was losing the motivation to do things and work on myself. This means, I hope to have regular posts from now on.

I can't wait to get started and really get back to the person I know I can be!